|
|
| Learn To Bus |
13th November 2009 01:28:08 PM |
|
I see this so often... people don't understand how to bus efficiently.
I am fairly tolerant of people's stupidity (up to a point), and this wouldn't bother me so hard if it were different people doing this. But it's not, it's always the same people (I know this because throughout the UNI semester I always catch the bus at the same time on a given day).
So, as part of my contributions to society, here is:
The Blog Of Cameron Guide To Not Busing Like A Fucking Idiot
By following these simple steps, you too can bus like a pro!
Step 1
Form an orderly line. When the bus arrives you have NO BUSINESS just waltzing up and standing in front of everyone who has been waiting patiently in a nice line. Exceptions: OLD PEOPLE. Always let them on first, you disrespectful tool.
Step 2
If you're not using a Smartrider, have your money ready. I can only imagine how frustrated the people behind you (who have their money ready) feel, whilst you fumble around in your shitty handbag (or possibly wallet, or pocket, but in my experience women are the worst offenders here) looking for $1.20 or whatever the hell a 2 zone ticket costs for people now days.
If you are using a Smartrider, have it ready it is just as frustrating (I know from experience!) to stand behind someone who is fumbling around in their shitty handbag (again, mostly women do this, men tend to keep their Smartrider in their pocket or wallet) looking for a piece of plastic that you had at least 5 minutes to locate before the bus got here. Fuck.
Step 3
Do not talk to the driver. Are you fucking retarded? You should know where the bus goes before you get on it. Timetables are readily available from many places. And you have even less of an excuse if you're getting on from one of the more recent bus stops, as if you'd just look at the back of them... it shows you where the bus routes go.
Step 4
DO NOT CONTINUE TALKING TO THE BUSDRIVER do not ask if he stops exactly outside your house, do not try and describe in vivid detail your street. Know where the bus goes and get the shit on it. Jesus.
Step 5
Having successfully completed steps 1-4, you are now ready to pay your fare and sit down. Do not, at any point, turn around and go back to talk to the bus driver, ever. He (or she), literally does not give a shit about you and just wants to drive the God damn bus. Sit the fuck down, you retard.
Oh, and do not sit in the priority seats (preferably ever). Unless you have real trouble standing, and feel that you should be sitting in one of these seats, don't sit in them! They are not for you.
Step 6
Enjoy the journey! You've now got a good few minutes to yourself to do as you please! Read a book, listen to music, sleep a little, but do not put your knees into the back of my seat you unthoughtful schoolchild
And there you have it. It's not very difficult. I would expect novice bus riders to possibly mess up a few of these the first time round, but after that you should pick it up fairly quickly. If anyone here catches the 887 to Wellington Street, follow these simple steps and you will have one less angry bearded guy annoyed at you.
In seriousness, though, it is pretty annoying when people do stupid shit like this. I don't think it's a big ask to have your Smartrider/money ready. Think about it, if everyone spent a few minutes getting their change, or finding their Smartrider, it would take ages for the bus to get anywhere. On some buses, there is even a sign (which I doubt most people see anyone, 'cos they're ignorant dicks) that says 'PLEASE TENDER CORRECT FARE'. Seriously, it's in capitals like that and everything.
I was actually very nearly late for an exam because of dickheads who had the wrong amount of money or didn't know where the bus went, or felt like telling their life story to the driver. What is wrong with you people? It was all OK though, I managed to get into the exam room just as the lady started reading out the instructions. Phew.
Holidays start now!
|
|
|
|
|
| 13th November 2009 01:52:37 PM |
|
such a fucking rage
but yeah, agree
Reply to this
|
|
|
|
|
| 13th November 2009 02:36:50 PM |
|
Response to comment made by Stuart on 13th November 2009 at 01:52:37 PM
Yeah I really ripped the lid off of that one. I've become more annoyed about it over the exam period though, I think. You know, with actually getting to UNI before a certain time being a priority.
Once I had a bus arrive at Wellington Street about 10 minutes late because of stuff I mentioned above. The traffic was amazingly non-existent, but the people, ugh.
Reply to this
|
|
|
|
|
| 13th November 2009 05:48:40 PM |
|
Thank god I don't take buses anymore and I don't have to put up with this bullshit.
Reply to this
|
|
|
|
|
| 13th November 2009 09:18:33 PM |
|
Response to comment made by Andrew on 13th November 2009 at 05:48:40 PM
LOL
Reply to this
|
|
|
|
|
| 13th November 2009 09:19:04 PM |
|
Response to comment made by Steph on 13th November 2009 at 09:18:33 PM
And by that I mean 'BUSES ARE RAD!'
Reply to this
|
|
|
|
|
| 13th November 2009 09:59:05 PM |
|
Response to comment made by Steph on 13th November 2009 at 09:19:04 PM
Buses are terrific and I'm glad the service exists.
People are retarded.
Reply to this
|
|
|
|
|
| 4th March 2010 02:38:04 AM |
|
Transperth needs to publish this list on posters and stick it up everywhere in Perth!
Reply to this
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Cool Stuff
Elastic Band Ball
Mother Bottles
Cubics
DDR/ITG
My Banjo
Tesseracts
Potato Cam
MATH1020 Notes
Ridiculous Proof
Footy Cards
Quotes List
More Of My Stuff
My YouTube Channel
This is my YouTube channel. Most of the videos on this site come from here.
Me On FaceBook
Here I am on the book of faces.
Me On deviantART
I don't use this at all anymore. There's some really old stuff of mine here. In the future, if I want to showcase stuff I've made I'll almost certainly make a page on this blog.
Stuff By Friends
Jakki's Portfolio
This is Jakki's personal portfolio and blog. She puts pretty pictures and writes about all manner of things here. Have a look!
Jenny's Blog
My friend Jenny's (tripple new and improved!) blog. She's pretty cool, go and have a read.
Jayce's Blog/Site
Jayce is a cool guy who plays ITG with me sometimes (quite often actually). He does web design and junk for money or something. Go look at his blog/site.
He also makes ITG stepfiles.
Scott Campbell
My friend Scott's personal site. He does web design and has some pretty neat stuff up there. Check it out.
Larrikin Photography
My UNI friend Brandon's photo site. He takes many a cool photo. Be sure to have a look and buy some if you like them! You can also hire him!
Stuff I Read
XKCD
Fun little comic with stick people. Sometimes has maths jokes.
Ctrl+Alt+Del
I don't know why I still read this but I do. And it is for that reason you should check it out.
Cyanide And Happiness
Hey it makes me laugh. It's fun.
Rumblo
KC Green shoves all his comics here. It rules.
Slashdot
Slashdot. It's full of interesting stories and articles and stuff. Read it.
Turbo Update
TRICKY DISCO QUAD STAR - IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
Pictures!
I thought it would be fun to have a space to draw silly pictures.
|
|
|
|